Focus On Your Strengths

We all have our unique strengths and it’s important to embrace them.

Forum member Chikito mentioned something very important to me last night on Facebook (add us all here): We should focus on our strengths more than our weaknesses. It’s human nature to think of the bad things in life, and it’s often said that you don’t appreciate the good things until they are gone. Well this article is going to change all that because I ask you to do one thing: Find and develop your strengths. When writing a CV or a letter to any educational position it’s important to put across your strengths. In all interviews they want to know what you’re good at, and the exact same applies to a dinner out with your partner. They don’t want to hear a wing about work, they want to hear what you’re good at!

So then, what are your skills? It could be anything, and there’s no answer too small or irrelevant. Are you good at socializing, dancing, photography, mathematics, car modifications or playing a musical instrument? Are you good at talking on the phone for hours at length? Are you good at choosing the correct clothes for different events? Perhaps your strength lies with an academic subject or a sport?

Do not focus so much on your weaknesses, for your weakness can be someone else’s strength. And it will be a greater strength in itself to work with this person.
Strengths tend to be grouped, so if you’re good at one thing it’s normally the case that you’ll share that gift for another similar activity. For example if you’re good at photography, then you’ll probably pick up film and graphic design relatively easily. If you’re good at talking, then you might be able to write influential speeches with a bit of practice. Being good at one thing tends to mean that you’re good at a whole host of activities – so find your strength and then you can develop many more. You like swimming? Then try wake boarding.


Once you have pinpointed exactly where your strengths lie, come up with all related activities. By trying these new things, you’re most likely to develop greater strengths and passion for this area of expertise. And the world needs specialists. This is the step-by-step process that nearly all University degree programmes go through: In the first year you study a broad subject including modules from all sub-disciplines. Then in the second year you choose to narrow it down a bit, and focus more on the sub-disciplines you enjoy. By the third or fourth year you have specialized into the sub-discipline that you have the greatest strength and passion for.


In Business though, it’s good to flip this specialization around and continue to try out new branches. Air Asia‘s business guru Tony Fernandes is known to spend several days of the year trying out all aspects of the company such as being the Check-In Assistant, Baggage Handler and Aircraft Attendant. Having a wide knowledge and experience helps develop strong foundations on which to focus on your strengths.


Attraction is built on the exchange of positive value. Your strengths are your positive value, and the more of it that you have to give the more attractive you are. If you talk about your weaknesses all the time, not only is it boring, it’s exchanging negative value. Imagine an Alpha Lion saying to his Mare, “Sweetheart, I can’t hunt, I can’t fight, and I can’t lead my brothers. But please stay with me.” Realise that you do have strengths and thus positive value to give and you are already one step ahead. Never think that what your strengths are aren’t attractive because this simply isn’t true. There are potential partners out there that love the same thing as you, no matter how specialist and bizarre (read – The Art Of Speaking Little and Saying a lot). Although your date loves you to have many strengths, don’t be blind your weaknesses. Being able to recognize and beware of your weaknesses is a strength in itself.

Comparative Advantage

Some people are just better suited to certain things. It may be due to nature or nurture it doesn’t matter. So if there is a particular subject you’re terrible at, don’t fret too much. There will be other people probably very close to you (as Forum member Tonatiuh8 explains here) who are good at these things, and it’d be of greater benefit to focus on learning how to communicate with them so that together you can be a team (read – The Importance Of Being On A Team!). There’s no point filling your brain with irrelevant information that you’re never going to use nor enjoy.

Smile With Smiley Teeth

The human smile is the most recognisable expression of fun and love across all cultures.

It’s the number one lesson taught in all dating advice programs, business interview training schemes and cross-cultural preparations. Even more, it’s the easiest thing to do! Which is why it’s very important to perfect your smile and have great teeth.


There are many confusing aspects of different cultures. You can witness this when it comes to greetings: A firm handshake in Australia or a three-kiss peck in only particular parts of Belgium? You wouldn’t give a hug to a female in Afghanistan, although you would quite keenly in England. Yet a smile is welcomed everywhere, and as Charles Darwin explained in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (buy here) it’s the smile that can be recognised from the greatest of distances.

“9 out of 10 people believe an attractive smile serves as a critical asset”
Disarming Smile

As I travelled across the globe, I very quickly learnt how important a smile is in disarming strangers as you approach. Often people are scared of going up to new people because they could be a threat, when in reality it’s you that’s perceived as a threat. Imagine sitting down with your friends, and a muscular male confidently strides up, if he smiles genuinely (with the eyes) then you know he isn’t a threat. On the other hand if he’s looking glum, angry or mischevious then there’s that strange inclination that he’s up to something. A smile with teeth helps everyone.

Whether it’s your first date or a sales pitch for your business, a smile gets everyone connected and at ease. This is because smiles are contagious:

Smile For Statistics

Surveys in Australia revealed that 9 out of 10 people believe an attractive smile serves as a critical asset and about 90 percent of both women and men assert that they remember someone with an attractive, healthy smile. The survey also determined that 8 out of 10 people believe that an unattractive smile makes an individual less appealing to someone of the opposite sex.

In a survey conducted by London Guildhall University of 11,000 people revealed that attractive people earn more in their careers, while less attractive people earned about 13 percent less. Cultures perceive beauty differently. For instance, while Western cultures associate attractive people with assertive personalities, Asian cultures assign sensitive and compassionate natures to attractive people. However, most cultures rely on physical beauty to determine the worth or good nature of a person.

When you smile, people form opinions regarding your friendliness, openness, intelligence and social status.

Get The Perfect Smile

Now that we’ve gone through the benefits of showing off your pearly whites, you’ll be happy to read the following tips to gaining gleaming white teeth:

1. Brush Regulary

O.K. so this is obvious. Brush twice a day for two minutes minimum. Use a long handled brush or an electric one and don’t be mean with the toothpaste. Move in a circular motion rather than back and forth vigorously, to avoid wearing down the enamle. Make sure you brush the gums too, a little bit of bleeding is fine (some dentists argue it’s a good thing) as it strengthens the tissue.

2. Use Correct Toothpaste

With thousands of brands, types and flavours to choose from, it’s good to know that any toothpaste is better than none. If you have sensitive teeth, then use specialist brands such as Sensodyne. Whitening toothpaste simply has larger particles which cause more abrasion in the mouth. It removes plaque to a greater degree thus giving a whiter appearance. It’s good to use for a while, especially if you’ve been drinking a fair bit of red wine recently. Yet don’t use it constantly because it can wear down the actual enamle of the tooth to a dangerous level.

3. Visit Your Dentist

Every six months is the recommended frequency to the dentist, but as I’m sure you’ve experienced once your in the chair you don’t normally know what he’s talking about to his assistant, “alpha B, pro-plastic level 7…” Private dentists are expensive so it’s important to work together to find your perfect smile. Your Guide to the Perfect Smile is a visual feast that celebrates the beauty of the human smile and shows you how you can work with your dentist to find your perfect smile. The book is equal parts dentistry and fashion, explaining the design principles behind beauty in general and smiles in particular. Covering the ten principles of smile design, the book advises you on how to work with your dentist to get that beautiful smile you so richly deserve. Buy From Amazon Here Smile With Smiley Teeth

4. Use Floss

The title says it all, experiment with a cheap packet of floss and try before and after brushing.


With a brilliant white set of teeth shining away in the sunlight, you’ll be an unstoppable force in the day-to-day activities of life. Everytime you make eye contact with a stranger, smile away with pride and you’ll very quickly receive them in reciprocation. In business, dating, married life or with your friends, smiling is the simple expression that is both contagious and emotionally satisfying. A smile a day will help you work, rest and play.

People Shape Your World

The journal entry talks about how I met someone who had just broken up with her boyfriend, and a friend of hers told me it had been a waste of time. Yet I disagreed, writing ‘Everyone you meet changes your perception about something, and so even when they have left, you still ‘have’ a part of them because their thoughts alter your view of the world. For example, if someone teaches you the star constellations, every time you see the stars, you will see them differently. If someone’s favorite color is yellow, you may find more beauty in yellow things. So it’s never a waste. With knowledge comes beauty as well as wisdom.’

Finding the right people

There are some that will alter your perception of world in a negative way. This is a parents nightmare. Your kid starts hanging out with ‘bad influences’ and before you know it school grades have gone down, but nights out are on the rise. At work, there are those that’ll bitch to you about colleagues, or moan about pay. These people won’t help you further your career so watch out. In life there are friends that’ll inspire you, and there are some that’ll deepen the rut in which you’re stuck. Finding the right people to shape your world is crucial to a positive change in perception.

What do the right people wear?

It’s impossible to tell from first glance who the ‘right people’ are. So give everyone a chance. Assume rapport from the moment you meet them and ask questions. Get to know them and establish the truths behind the customary half-truths that we all give during first encounters. I heard once not to trust men wearing ties, but at school everyone had to wear a tie, at work everyone wears a tie, at formal gatherings all men wear ties…So I decided not to trust the man who told me this rule. Only once you feel that you have gotten to know someone; their beliefs, lifestyle, habits, characteristics etc. can you decide whether or not to follow their shaping. Although, just by this encounter they will have already changed your perception of the world in strange ways.

Who shapes the world: Them or me?

It’s your perception that is being changed and it’s your brain doing the changing. The people you meet simply send inputs. These inputs (e.g. information about star constellations) are simply bits of data that are organized and interpreted by you. They are seen through your lens.  Each bit of data or input affects the outcome of every other bit of data received or about to be received. Say for instance you learn that Christopher Columbus was a great man. He traveled the world and conquered great lands. When you read about other travelers Columbus comes to mind, and you begin to develop a great interest in traveling, the old colonial days and history. Then you learn a different truth: Christopher Columbus was a bad man. He promoted slavery, racism and killed thousands of natives as he stole their land. All previous interests are now in jeopardy; when you meet other travelers you wonder about their intentions; when you watch colonial history programs there is a side of you that questions the evil, the darkness.

It’s you who decides how to interpret the ‘truth’. Which is why Judges in Courts of Law dedicate their lives to finding out all different sides of the story to gain a balanced argument.

Look out for the invisible man

However it is often the people you don’t meet that shape your world the most. How many times on the dance floor have you laughed at someone trying to do the moonwalk? You can thank (the now deceased – may he rest in peace) Michael Jackson for those times. Are you living above the poverty line? It could be the case that you have Gordon Brown to thank, for he has brought over 600,000 children and a million pensioners out of poverty. Do you understand the concept of gravity? It was Sir Isaac Newton that brought this comprehension into your life. The people that work behind the scenes (including your parents) are the ones that really shape your world. They’re the ones that work to make it a better place, to help you climb the steps of life.

More paint means more colors

Entertain your mind with as many opinions (and thus people) as possible. The more you have, the more shape your world will take. The more shape, the more beauty. Read enough, listen intensively, watch carefully, live large. These are the words that’ll enable your world to take shape.

Happy Friendship Day 2016 Quotes

Happy Friendship Day 2016

Here we end for the most awaited day, Friendship day. Words are not enough to describe a friend that make our life easier and happier and filling the most mesmerizing memories with oneself. It’s said that the most beautiful relationship in the world is none but the Friendship, and here we are celebrating this day to dedicate to all our friends who are near or much far from our life.
Asking for any solution and they make us to forget the problems are “Friends”. Studying late night together and start talking about something weird is a “Friend”. Stuck in a traffic and the first person that comes in our mind for help is a “Friend”. Much more things are happening when we are in this most awesome relationship.
Friendship is what that gives meaning to life and provides the best direction for future. We all laugh, we cry and we learn with friends together. We eat, we shop and we work with friends together. And when we fight for what we believe and change the world, we do that with friends too.

Thus we celebrate this day to honor our most precious thing to be in our life and make something incredible.
Best Friend always sticks Together. ! So Friendship day is here! People search for friendship day quotes, Friendship day quotes for whatsapp, friendship day wishes and status to be shared on whatsapp, happy friendship day 2016 whatsapp status . we have shared some awesome collection of whatsapp one liner status for friendship day . check out out best and cooliest collection of Happy Friendship Day 2016 Quotes  , Happy Friendship Day 2016 status.

Happy Friendship Day 2016 Wishes Quotes

  • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Happy Friendship Day!
  • How long shall v b friends? Do u want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry & till the day I die. We will b friends. Happy Friendship Day 2016 Quotes!
  • Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. Happy Friendship Day!
  • The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I’m so glad that you’re my friend. I know our friendship will never end. Happy Friendship Day Dear !!!
  • She is a friend of my mind. She gathers me, man. The pieces I am, she gathers them and gives them back to me in all the right order.
  • A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Happy Friendship Day 2016 !
  • A friend is a push when you have stopped, a chat when u r lonely, a guide when u r searching, a smile when u r sad, a song when u r glad.
  • A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world. Happy Friendship Day!
  • Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another.
  • A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
  • Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend
  • Friends are like mango… you’ll never know which is sweet and which is not. Well, I’m lucky coz I was able to find the sweetest mango in U! Happy Friendship Day!
  • Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.

Stay Alive, Try Something New Today

It’s good to try new things. New foods, new drinks, new places, new clothes, new activities, new positions, new people, new music, new news, new beliefs and new ways of thinking. It’s healthy for the brain and the body.

When we get stuck in routines, we begin to live an automatic life. The mind learns through patterns: four wheels is a car and two wheels is a bike. Blue is cold, red is hot. When you get a nine-to-five job, life very quickly forms a routine. You wake up early, you get stuck in a traffic jam, you have a cup of coffee at work, you work, eat lunch,  come home, TV on, feet on sofa and sleep. A.K.A boring.

By trying out new things you stimulate the mind. You develop an environment for growth, learning and fun. For the last five months I’ve been experiencing new things whilst traveling around the world. Never before had I done mountain biking, never before had I even ridden a motorbike (you have to learn quickly for that), last week I went Skydiving, and two months ago you would have found me swimming with sharks. I’ll share with you one thing, when you do these new things time goes much, much slower. Which is a good thing in case you were wondering.

The so called ‘nanny-state’ has gained a bad reputation because children are not experiencing illnesses any more. How can you expect to be a good fighter if you’ve never been hit before? How can you get back up again, if you’ve never fallen? You have to experience the lows, to realize and appreciate the highs. Not only does trying out new things give you opportunity to learn, it also allows you to make mistakes and to learn from them.

Mistakes are beautiful things, as I experienced when putting the throttle down way too far on the motorbike. Falling asleep in the sun without sun protection was also a costly mistake yet both times my lessons have been learnt. And that’s the greatest part of curiosity.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”
- Albert Einstein

No one wants to do the same thing every day; the monotomy of it is terrifying as David Eagleman explains in Sum: Forty Tales From The Afterlives. In his book, he describes a possible idea for an afterlife, whereby you relive all your experiences in carefully categorized groups: sleeping 30 years straight, sitting five months on the toilet, spending 200 days in the shower, and so forth. Imagine if this were true, how many days would you be sitting in a traffic jam for? Mindlessly reading magazines, wondering what to do, throwing up or even yawning?

Try new things because they make you feel alive. It’s not difficult either; go to a different restaurant, send a text to your partner with a compliment you’ve never said before or even just go commando for a day. Come on lads, it’s not like you haven’t wanted to try it.

Spontaneity related posts are littered across the forum (which if you haven’t already, JOIN), 12,099 people searched Google for it last year – so it is important to us. Take a day off work, and do something crazy. Travel somewhere, go swimming, running or dancing but do something new! These moments create stories, and stories can be used whilst dating. No girl enjoys listening to “I work behind a desk and my Blackberry 24/7″. I remember in Northern Thailand when I burst out laughing at an innocent question a nice girl asked, “what have you been up to?” because my answer was so bizarre,

“Well, for the last three days I’ve been hiking through the rain forest. I climbed up several mountains, swam under waterfalls, lived with the hill tribes and learnt to play the guitar. With several others, I trekked down river on Elephants, then when rapids appeared we created two bamboo rafts and rode the waters for several hours. Finally, after reaching civilization I visited a Buddhist Wat and meditated with the monks before finishing the weekend with an amazing Thai massage.”

Of course these activities aren’t accessible to us all so we have to make do with other devices, which as Ian Smith writes, this very much includes sex:

Simple Steps For Turning Good Sex Into Great Sex
Here’s a list of ten new things you can try now in order to get those creative juices going:

Find a new recipe, and get cooking.
Give your partner a new compliment.
Wear something you’d never dare to normally.
Do a different exercise.
Go somewhere you’ve never been before.
Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in years.
Go commando for a day.
Try a new sex position.
Stay up a few more hours then normal.
Watch a new film.
These are all things you can do but there are also new ways you can think. Yes Man by Danny Wallace is a great example of how life changing a new perspective can be.  A simple change in how you think could alter your life hugely. Take a new look at things, say Yes instead of No, and No instead of Yes. Have a read of other religions, there’s a whole host to choose from:

Buddhism for Beginners
Christianity for Beginners
Islam for Beginners
Hinduism for Beginners
Even if you don’t take up any new beliefs, you will learn about other peoples belief’s and thus prejudices may be removed, making you a worldier man. Life is more fun when you’re doing things that are new, and the best part is sharing the adventure with your friends afterwards. So all I ask you to do is pick up a pen and write down something new you want to try, then do it.

How To Make The Most Out Of A Book

Personal development books are not novels. They are not meant to be read in one sit. I used to make that terrible mistake of reading a book as fast as I could just so I could get that sense of accomplishment. Needless to say, the books didn’t change my life. Nothing incredible happened after reading “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki or “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George Clason. Perhaps it is because I didn’t make the best use of them. They are called ‘life changing’ books. Yet, I read the books and I didn’t turn into a millionaire. I felt a rush to finish the books and go into the next one to accumulate as much knowledge as possible. As it turned out, this was a gross mistake.

The point of reading a book is not just to read it, finish it, and put it away in your shelf. It’s to extract its wisdom (or the author’s) as much as possible. I mentioned before that it takes a student of great books to become one of great knowledge. I didn’t say it takes a reader. I said it takes a student. A student then not only reads, but seeks to extract every bit of knowledge so that he understands it as much as possible. If it takes highlighting, underlining, circling, putting asterisk or stars, making notes on the side of the book, or discussing it with friends, then he does it. Of what use is a book if you’ll never write or talk about it? I once was reading a book by Jeffrey Gitomer – a master sales trainer – and a family member who passed by saw me reading the book. Jeffrey is known for his portable, smooth, playful looking books. As this family member saw me underline and write several things on it, he exclaimed “Don’t mess up such a nice book like that!”. He didn’t understand.

Some will say “I can’t be on the same book for more than a week!”. Bad. If you’re going to read a book, then take the extra time to actually understand it and apply it. Otherwise you will have wasted valuable time. Yes, I’m aware of some programs out there that work on the subconscious mind and enable faster reading and greater understanding. If you can afford those programs, go for it. But if you don’t, then don’t mind taking 2 or 3 weeks or even a month to fully grasp the concept of a book. Here is what I do:

I first read the book front to back, highlighting, underlining, making comments on the side as I go.
By the way, if the author recommends not to exceed one chapter a day, then I follow that. You should too. He/she is the teacher. You’re merely the student.
I then re-read what I highlighted or underlined along with the writings I made on the pages.
I might also read the sentences or paragraphs previous to the parts highlighted.
I make sure I jot down all the book’s suggestions to be applied in actuality. I then work on those suggestions.
I then go one more time through the highlights and re-write on my journal then best quotes or reminders from the book.
If something is particularly important or profound, I fold the top corner of the page, so that next time I pick up the book again, I know there is something valuable in that page.
(These simple steps can save you tremendous amounts of time in the future when you need to be refreshed. Try them.)

Something happens when you repetitively read something. You begin to see things you didn’t see the time before. You begin to perceive a particular paragraph or sentence a lot more different than you perceived it when you first read it. Or you now find a topic you ignored before but is deeply important now. For instance, I constantly refer back to “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. And each time, I see something newer and bigger. The book may not change, but my understanding of its wisdom does.

Knowledge in Order

Author, speaker, and University President Nido Qubein brought something to my attention a while ago. He said “Have your knowledge in order. If your knowledge is not order, you become more confused by definition”. How true is that! The libraries and bookstores of America are filled with books of financial freedom, happiness, personal development, and relationships – yet, we lack these very same things today, perhaps more than before.

What happens when you read a book on finances and then one on relationships? Correct, your mind shifts its focus. While it’s great to open your mind by reading on a variety of topics, it’s more important to grasp on one topic first then move to another. Failure to do this will result in constant shift of focus. Not good.

Here is how it works: Read books from the same philosophy in sequence.

For example: Now that I’m fully done reading Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits, I move on to another one his books “Principle Centered Leadership”. I could have chosen “First Things First” or “The 8th Habit”. But I think this choice will increase my personal understanding of Covey’s philosophy, if read next. For you, it might be a different book. Follow your instinct.

You should choose a book that roots on the same philosophy – and usually that happens to be by the same author. If I read Stephen Covey and then go Napoleon Hill, then there is a distortion there. Even if they both write on personal development, their philosophy is different. It’s very tempting only to read those ‘bestsellers’ with millions of copies, but don’t fall on the trap. There are some great books out that are complementary to those bestsellers. They just never reach the recognition they deserve since other book by the same author might be his best work. Read them all. Not just the most recognized. You’ll be amazed at what you find.

Sharing Ideas. Sharing the Books.

This could go under the suggestions for better understanding of your reading, but since I’m witness of how powerful this is, I decided to elaborate a bit more.

A great man named Jim Rohn once quoted “When you share an idea with ten people, they may hear it once, but you hear it ten times. That’s good”. This statement inspired me to share my quotes and insights with everyone I meet online (Twitter, Facebook) or off it. I recently started sharing my own short quotes and they have been receiving good comments and appreciation. This is only one good side effect, the other is that I get to read that idea again and the mere fact that I share it with others pushes me a bit more to deeply understand them. After all, what would I do if someone asks me ‘Can you elaborate on that?’.

If you’re comfortable, share the books too. Give them to a friend and let him or her know that you’d like to discuss the book later. I have talked to friends who have read the same books I have and it’s amazing how much a different perspective can make yours stronger. So don’t fall shy of joining a book club or asking a friend to join you.

I hope you have gained conscience of how critically important it is to use books the right away. Do you have any other suggestions? Feel free to share them!

Why do men only talk about what men talk about?

The truth is when a group of young male friends get together they talk about three things: Sex, money and alcohol.
How much they have, how much they will have but never, ever how much they don’t have. That’s against the rules. To not have sex (let’s admit it, the activity is seen as a commodity in the majority of male minds) is to be a loser. To not drink alcohol is to be a spoil sport, and to not have money…Well that depends on what you spent it on.  I realise that by revealing this truth to the women of the internet world, my male ‘wingmen’ will be preparing some disgusting mixture of what only can  be described as brew for me to ‘longarm’ as punishment. Yet secretly, in the dark corners of pubs and clubs across the world, we all know it’s true, and what’s worse is that we all know that women all know.

When is it that the social dynamics of a ‘group’ are formed? If it’s just two guys talking to eachother then the topics will vary enormously. Depending on the friend it may include work, family, politics, philosophy, and goodness knows what else. If three friends hang out then the range of topics decrease as obviously the number of shared interests also decline. Four friends? Well now it’s reduced to universal interests such as music and sport. When there are five friends or more together, it’s my experience that unless you’re all spending a lot of time together and sharing loads of interests, the universal topics are those that you can all relate to is shagging, spending and boozing.

Take today for example. Brad and I were in the car driving into town to meet two others. Our conversation ranged from University, Archeology, websites, future plans, Anthropology and recent parties. We met two good friends for a game of Squash ( a shared interest). Sadly (or thankfully as some of the worse players *cough* would say) the courts were full so we went to the pub for a drink, or two…Actually three (another shared interest). Conversation included recent happenings and future plans as well as a bit of sport. Then we were met by another good friend and after about twenty minutes I pointed out to the group that all we had talked about was sex. How much we were having, how much we would be having, but never, ever how much we are not having. That’s against the rules.

Yet Is this really all we want to talk about as a group?

There is only so much one can talk about sex, money and alcohol. I’m a strong believer in that if a man talks about sex for more than five minutes, especially if it’s about how good it is or how much he’s getting, it means that it’s complete bullshit. Yet real men don’t blab on about this stuff, real men save the world from an economic crisis, or poverty, swine flu and even AIDs. I’d like you to read this following excerpt from a GQ article that discusses the meaning of ambition,

“Because we’re a shower, us modern men, composed for the most part of grasping, solipsistic knuckleheads, any game of tennis-elbow-foot that begins with the word “ambition” will quickly and inexorably tumble towards “money”, “power”, “success”. This is not how it ought to be. A Maserati is not an ambition. It’s a fast car. Being headhunted by a hedge fund, buying a second home in Wiltshire, picking your third wife from an online catalogue, watching your collection of Guatemalan sculpture appreciate in value, looking on as your daughter wins Wimbledon… these are goals, perhaps, but they are far too prosaic, too small, to be ambitions.”

No. This isn’t all we want to talk about. These self-gratifying instant pleasures are for boys. Curing cancer, creating an artificial black hole and solving the energy crisis is for men. This unwillingness to grow up, to look at our adolescent dream of fast cars, fast women, instant cash and to honestly say they are crap is the problem. This week I read a status, “David is finally twenteen!” Not the first time I had heard this new number popping up as teenagers seek to prolong their lack of responsibility. What’s next, twenty-thirteen, thirty-one-teen?! It’s time to aim higher, to find ambitions with slim lines of success, to put our skills to use and make this world a better place.

I am Generation Y. Many of you are Generation Y. Together we are more connected then any generation before us. We blog, we text, we Twitter, we Facebook, we call, we meet and we all have access to more of the world’s information as well as each and every human being than ever before. Yet just because there are more strings does not mean they are stronger strings. Having 10,000 friends on Facebook means nothing if you don’t have a relationship with any of them. Our quantity of connections have increased with technology, but our quality of relationships have not. Tribes start small. They are built on trust and honesty. This is why you’ll find groups of men who have real ambitions that talk about anything but sex, money and alcohol.

They will be obsessed, they will keep trying until death takes them and even then their message will spread. They will only talk about what they talk about because it’s their ambition. It’s a real man’s ambition.

Yet don’t assume those who only talk about materialistic prospects lack ambition. I think we all have it somewhere, under that layer of false beliefs. We can feel it; that yearning for more yet not in a self-gratified way. Men who talk about sex, money and alcohol do so because they haven’t found their calling. Sometimes it will take a death, other times an inspirational story or an inability to prevent something catastrophic that tears your heart apart. Just try and find it before your time runs out. My ambition is to explore the bigger systems at play in this world. To try and grasp an understanding at what makes us tick, how we as a species dance to the rhythm of life. And now that I’ve said it, we can stop talking about sex, money and alcohol… well, maybe just a little bit.