[Chikito]

do you think you can also write about your failures along with the lessons you learned?

I surely can! Although it will be hard to recall way back a year ago because I have made so many! Haha Oh so many, but its totally fine because I hope by now everyone is clear that there are no failures only learning experiences. If you can take something away from every 'failure' then is it not a positive and no longer a 'failure'.

There were so many times I made a similar mistake so I will review that mistake. I took me a while to cement the lesson into my brain so I made this mistake quite a few times.

I would set some mediocre goals. Work hard towards it, improve daily see results and start to get recognized (particularly on this forum) for it. It is a exciting and fun time but very dangerous. There is one thing that you need to keep in check always while you rise up the food chain of society is your ego. When people started coming to me for advice instead of me to them I thought I was 'made'. You have to be very careful not to start thinking that your better than ANYONE. I did for a short period. And this is bad not because your narcissistic or an asshole, but in terms of self development you become complacent. Your busy helping others and feeding off it that you forget that you start getting comfortable. All because your ego. I is at times like these I would notice that my mental health is cloudy and deep down I'm battling guilt and what not. Because here I am being respected and dishing out advice but NOT actively doing it as much as I could.

It isn't until you start pushing yourself again that your mental health starts to clear up and you feel great and ecstatic (suddenly noticing your dancing around to music and smiling for no reason). Make sure you learn to listen to your subconscious or your true self as I like to think. You might be living a lie, often I would find this to be true. You can tell if your unease with some subtle signs, for instance when your lying in bed before you sleep is your jaw clenched? Do you randomly notice that without thinking about it you are clenching your jaw shut? Maybe not hard but subtly but enough that your muscles aren't relaxed? I find this is an indicator of deep unresolved issues, that can be easily solved if you sideline your ego, humble yourself and ask for help. It is hard but once you realize that it's totally fine to ask for help and that it doesn't make you 'weak' then thats when the real lessons sink in. So be wary of this.

Make sure you spend an hour a weak exploring your subconscious and defining your identity. It is a very powerful exercise.

All of my mistakes have derived from one thing: Being Dishonest with myself.

This is the internet and it is very easy to live behind a persona. EVEN if your doing some positive things and your telling yourself 'I am developing more than the most other people' or maybe 'I can pick up chicks better than most guys out there' you might still be living a lie (I certainly did this) Because you know deep down your still not acting on some things you want because of fears, or that your still falling prey to laziness. Maybe not in the field of seduction but perhaps in health or money.

The mistake I made was to let myself create an illusion that what I was doing was enough. But truly this was just a farce I played with myself to bury the fact that I still had fears to face and still desired to improve in different areas but was still limiting myself.

I thought I don't have enough time in the day for this and that, when the truth was I didn't want to give up my unproductive lazy time, or that I was afraid to put that much effort into my life because it was not normal in society.

There were so many times I was hesitant to do things or start something really beneficial because I was afraid to stand out that much. Conquering that fear is an on going process for me right now. For example when I was on my extreme diet last month I let slack for my Birthday. I went out and drank, snacked on some things I shouldn't have and in the end I didn't have that huge of blast. I ate a big meal etc etc.

As soon as I let loose once I started sneaking in more food every now and again. At night I would tell myself excuses to let me snack on this and that. I bloated up like a balloon because my body at the time was starved of carbohydrates. So all the drinking I did caused my food to get instantly stored. And because my body was not used to living off this little food (which consequently is the normal amount) It grabbed hold of everything I ate with a vice grip. Two days later I almost lost my modeling job, people who were seeing my improvements started to frown and look disappointed in me because all of sudden I put on weight. I was still skinny and lean and still had nicely formed abs, but after the initial shock of their reactions and the thoughts of "SO WHAT! IT was my birthday I can do what a want to" I realized that they were not disappointed that I had gained weight, but more that I had been dishonest with my beliefs and found a way to create an excuse, almost exploiting my Birthday to my gluttonous intentions.

I think this is getting to be a long read, I have covered some of my major mistakes, so this will be the last one. It is easy to fall into the way of thinking that you are better than others. It is easy to develop the attitude that you don't want to waste your time on people who don't go through what you do on a regular basis. And worst of all (and very true for me, before) it is easy to think that people who on paper are not as good as you have nothing to teach you. I can't stress this enough and this is the whole driving force for the running of this forum. Always know that you can learn from anyone and that you rarely EVER know the whole story about someone. So don't be quick to judge, and always be humble enough to take advice from anyone. Keep your ego in check.

I'm going to a give you name now to signify this epic achievement as a symbol of rememberance and progression...

here it is...

its coming...

Ok here it is... my new name for you!

Jamie Kraven!
Oh wait that was your name all along...
hmm...
interesting how that turned out...

This made me laugh so hard at how badly you failed. My name is spelled:

JAMIE CRAVEN

LOL.

You say don't think, act-
I like that, I'm guessing its along the same lines as the three second rule when newbies approach

but

I like this better...

Think... but fucking make a decision!
and stick by it
and be able to learn from it
and if you have to change it mid decision don't let your ego get in the way

When I say think what I meant was the process that Hector Describes in this post

I agree totally with what you said, and in fact you put it clearer than I did.

When I say Don't think, act.

I mean:

Don't think about what pro's or con's, the debate. Because you will hesitate, and hesitating gives your fears leverage to manifest and gain strength and eventually stop you.

When I say Act, I mean: Act on what your believe to be true. What your true identity agrees or disagrees with your instincts. In order to be good at this process you need to know who you true identity is, and that there is a hugely exciting and intimidating journey. If you try to act on instinct but still find yourself hesitating and debating it is because you have not established exactly where you sit on this yet. I find it best to through caution to the wind, make a decision stick to it and see where it takes you; if you end up not liking it then you know for next time where you stand. Same applies if you do like it.