Is Revenge Good or Bad?

[Daniel Becerra]

You can find the original article here. Discuss away.

Recently a lot of controversy has been stirred over my Facebook and Twitter updates - I can see why . I mentioned that “Revenge is sweet. Always get even” and the messages started flying in. Some criticizing, others supporting, others wondering who I was seeking to get revenge from. Of course, I will not mention any names, yet. Before I even continue, I clarify that most people have a negative notion of the word revenge, they think of violence or even death - that is not in any way, the revenge I advocate.

However, I AM of the idea that if someone attacks you, then you gotta attack back, only ten times harder. It serves for two reasons - one, to get back at that person; and two, for anyone else watching. When you make others respect you, they don’t mess around with you as much, if at all. Truth is, the higher you climb, the harder others will try to bring you down, and not always through clean tactics. I wish I could tell you that people are always nice to each other, but that’s not always the case. Sadly, a lot of people are out to there to get each other. Yes, there is good and evil; and you gotta do everything in your power to love and protect the good, and despise and fight the evil to the best of your ability. Not your typical advise, right? But it’s what works in the real world. If you let evil wander around, then you might as well become its ally.

Picture this scenario: Someone bullies you, and you do nothing about it. That bully will think he or she can do whatever they want with you. And worse, with others. That doesn’t benefit you, nor others. On the other hand if you get back at that bully, he or she will think twice about bullying you or anyone else around you. Again, violence may not be the way to go about it. I rather use my intellect to get revenge. Remember me for this, your knowledge and ‘I don’t give a ****’ character are both great assets in seeking respect and revenge.

It’s simple, you just gotta be as tough as nails. You gotta stand up for what you believe. You want to develop the ability to be tough and nice when the situation calls for it. If someone disrespects you, your organization, or a loved one - even if it’s out of negligence - then be tough and put that person in place. The key is to do it with class, not in an asshole way. There is a big difference between them. Of course, sometimes, it is easier to think the second, but don’t let those emotions get the best out of you. Be like a dad, even if it hurts you to do certain things, go ahead and do them anyway; it’s for your protection and of those close to you; and maybe even to teach a lesson to the bully.

Self Empowerment and Revenge

I’m a steward. I empower myself so I can pass it on to others. And I’m willing to make sacrifices so that most benefit, even if it means getting rid of one person or two. Empowering yourself is not a selfish act. Because of my career path, I am constantly working around people and I have a tendency to advise people when asked. I have mentored some and entered relationships with women that I have helped grow. But it has already happened that some turned their back on me. How? Disloyalty.

I cannot tolerate disloyalty. If someone does something for you, give them thanks - appreciate them. It affected me when I invested time in someone without expecting anything in return just to see no signs of gratitude or completely indifference when I’m going through bad times. It just kills my inspiration and I don’t need that, therefore I get rid of them. On the other hand, I go out of my way to help people who are there for me at all times. It’s just the cost of having a real friendship. I personally get tired of an ungrateful attitude.

Take for example a woman that I was dating not too long ago. I invested time on this girl. I spoke to her about being always prepared, about realizing that our actions always have consequences that we are not even aware on, about leadership and love. I spent time with her when she was going through bad ones. I made her smile through it. We had a great time together, full of humor and good experiences. But in the moment I needed her the most (right after receiving some of the worst news I have received) she consciously decided to get drunk and completely ignore me. That’s pure negligence and stupidity. After that, not only I couldn’t trust her, but I couldn’t respect her either. She called me the next day apologizing as she did once before, but this time I wouldn’t take it. I wasn’t an asshole, but I told her the truth “I don’t trust you nor respect you. You’ve, indeed, disappointed me”. She has been calling a couple of times but I never pick her calls no more. She texts me asking to talk or get together, I never respond.

Did it hurt? Of course. It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. Make no mistake about it. I’m not saying I’m a cold-hearten bastard and just kick people out of my life and feel nothing inside. It actually hurts - a lot. I make tough choices, even if I mourn over them, because some things just need to be done. You just can’t afford some people who have given themselves to a dark side of their nature.

Now if a good person (not a bad one, never forgive a bad one) makes a mistake and they make a sincere apology, forgive them and move on. But my advise is to never trust them again - unless, of course, they consistently try to gain your trust back. Remember Lincoln’s words “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than anything else”. Are they worth your trust? As good people as they can be, can you afford to trust them? Be wise here.

Oneness and Revenge

You have probably heard me talk about oneness, and that concept may seem contradictory to revenge. That’s not true. While oneness recognizes that we are all one, oneness also seeks to exclude those that damage the entire body. Your best defense is sometimes a good offense. You want to be on the offense when others try to damage you or beat you. There are certain things you just cannot afford to let happen, for the sake of oneness. Protecting yourself and getting revenge is not a selfish act, it’s an act on behalf of oneness because you exclude the evil.

The point is simple, if someone wrongs you badly (to the extent of causing you to lose plenty of things you have) and you do nothing about it, then you’re no longer kind or nice, you’re just a loser. And of course, you go against oneness. You gotta help protect the good, this can mean both actively working on yourself and actively working against those who work against oneness. Please, for your own sake, do not confuse kindness with weakness. Kindness is letting other people where they go wrong, even if it requires a bit of a tough attitude. Weakness is letting people walk over you. Be kind, not weak. If you have a good reason to get revenge or to go tough on them, then by all means, do it. But don’t be tough if you don’t have a reason to be it.

It can be hard to start getting revenge, and it can be hard to kick people out of your life who hinder you more than help you. But you got to do it. Exercise your courage and view things on the perspective that benefits everybody. It will benefit you for you will have less hindering people in your life. And it will benefit those who hinder because they will learn a lesson. Hopefully the pain of regret will soon exceed their pain of change. Begin bit by bit if you have to. Begin saying “NO” to small things a hindering person may repeatedly do, then build your confidence up. Again, don’t let people walk over you. If it’s worthy of getting even, go for it.

[Nick Krygier]

There's a lot of anger in that article Daniel and I am curious if you were the one that wrote it. Revenge is great if you want to accrue a lot of undesireable karma. Think of the kung fu masters, they are the ones that don't fight because they realize that it's not about hurting the people attacking them but rather helping them. Revenge in my opinion is like a neg, you're bringing the other person down when in reality your going about it in a very childish way.

[Daniel Becerra]

Nick, yes, it was me who wrote this article.

First, I'll say that I extremely appreciate that you actually oppose, in some way, what I wrote - it feels great to have someone debate you.

Cool, now; I happen to disagree with you.

Revenge is nothing like a neg. I only encourage to get even if and only if you have a good reason to do so. More than anything, getting even goes beyond 'getting even'; getting even is about teaching a lesson. And it does not need to be in a childish way. I can see how one may link childish to revenge, because that's what society has trained us for. But in reality, revenge is not childish, it's very mature and needed; of course, only under certain circumstances. The way you go about it is also critical.

I'll use your 'Kung Fu Masters' example (which is a great one, by the way) and tell you that the very reason Kung Fu masters don't fight (unless it's necessary) is because they are aware of the power of their body and they will only use it when it's absolutely necessary. Likewise, a highly sophisticated and caring individual knows his worth and potential won't use it to stop anybody UNLESS it's absolutely necessary. Like in the scenario of someone bullying their people around and beating innocent ones. Or in the case of defaming someone just to gain popularity in a dirty way. People can get seriously hurt and to let that happen is just bad business.

To a certain extent, there is anger. But it's not the anger that controls or determines my thoughts, it is my response to the anger. I cannot help but to feel upset when someone is disloyal, but anger does not drive me to tell people off; my personal safety and that of others, does.

How we doing now? I wanna hear back from you.

[Nick Krygier]

Revenge is nothing like a neg. I only encourage to get even if and only if you have a good reason to do so. More than anything, getting even goes beyond 'getting even'; getting even is about teaching a lesson. And it does not need to be in a childish way. I can see how one may link childish to revenge, because that's what society has trained us for. But in reality, revenge is not childish, it's very mature and needed; of course, only under certain circumstances. The way you go about it is also critical.

It was a poor reference but nonetheless. Let me first say that I feel as if I know that you would never intentionally hurt something or somebody, or exact revenge simply out of spite or to get even unless you knew if would help them. However, first of all, that is not the definition of revenge. Revenge involves all that which I feel as if you would never do. I believe you have taken a word and simply changed the definition, which clever, but innacurate.

I encourage to get even if and only if you have a good reason to do so.
Life is not about 'getting even.' It's not about getting yours or letting anyone else get theirs. That's living a life in reaction.

More than anything, getting even goes beyond 'getting even'; getting even is about teaching a lesson.
Admirable. A lesson can be learned from anything in life. Who is to say that the lesson they 'need' to learn is the one from action on your part rather then inaction? Are you able to see all possible outcomes of all possible variables? You might say well, what I'm saying right now is in a sense trying to teach you a lesson by manipulating you with words to understand my perspective. But, I'm only writing this because you asked. THAT IS THE POINT THAT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL!

I can see how one may link childish to revenge, because that's what society has trained us for.
Revenge IS childish. What you are talking about is not revenge. I don't know the word for it but I definitely know it's not revenge.

[dmacfour]

I believe revenge is okay if it is used as a means of punishment for a negative action. Just as rewards are used to reinforce positive behaviors, I think revenge, to a certain extent, can be used to teach that person a valuable lesson (that their actions are wrong). People need to know that their actions have consequences.

[Hector M.]

When most people think of revenge, they think "Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. If you mess with me, it's a must that I mess with you". However, that is not the entirety of revenge.

If someone disrespects you, and you let it happen, you not only "avoid the path of violence", but the person who disrespects you will soon rationalize that they can disrespect EVERYONE, and thus, make that person worse, and transform you into a walking doormat of a loser.

Contrarily, if you put that person in their place when they disrespect you, you set a boundary for that person on they way they treat you, AND others, and at the same time, get praise for standing up to a disruptive element in society.

If you allow negative people into your life, they will begin to influence you for the worse
If you allow positive people into your life, they will influence you for the better.

It's that simple. None of us invented this fact of life. It just is.

Let's take this part of the post:

Take for example a woman that I was dating not too long ago. I invested time on this girl. I spoke to her about being always prepared, about realizing that our actions always have consequences that we are not even aware on, about leadership and love. I spent time with her when she was going through bad ones. I made her smile through it. We had a great time together, full of humor and good experiences. But in the moment I needed her the most (right after receiving some of the worst news I have received) she consciously decided to get drunk and completely ignore me. That’s pure negligence and stupidity. After that, not only I couldn’t trust her, but I couldn’t respect her either. She called me the next day apologizing as she did once before, but this time I wouldn’t take it. I wasn’t an asshole, but I told her the truth “I don’t trust you nor respect you. You’ve, indeed, disappointed me”. She has been calling a couple of times but I never pick her calls no more. She texts me asking to talk or get together, I never respond.

Would any of you guys want that type of girl as a GF? That same kind of girl, if you were married to her, would end up getting trashed at happy hour instead of caring for the child you two might have. Who would want a wife like THAT? If Dan would have done nothing, the same stuff would have continued, she would become worse, and Dan would have a small resentment that builds into a need for revenge.

As much as we all wish everyone was kind and loving, the unfortunate fact is about 75-80% of people (Fair estimate) wish to harm others to move ahead (Which is why the other 20% consist of the most successful people on Earth. Coincidence?)

So, is revenge good, or bad?

Ultimately, revenge is revenge. It can be good. It can be bad. If revenge is undertaken for the right reasons, then so be it. If it's taken under the wrong reasons, then so be it. Remember the consequences associate with each, and see if it's worth it.

BUT, If someone disrespects you, even unintentionally, set that person straight, or EVERYONE involved suffers, especially YOU.

[BestStyle]

I think revenge is good.... After you revenge on someone who had actually disappointed you .... there is some self satisfaction in it....
I mean you feel so much better for a little while, then after you have revenged on someone, you just realize you have made a mistake and you feel horrible. so I think is a two way because you wont really know what you are doing... all in all women Love revenge the most.

[hittler7795]

Originally Posted by capriconic

I think Revenge is not bad at all if it is positive.
If the revenge is for the improvement or for the sake of betterment of the other person or party than it's good.

Very nice post dear.
I liked the way you sorted it out.

[lgeorge]

Originally Posted by loganlambe1155

Revenge is bad ofcourse...it emerges from a negative feeling and it just keeps on growing and growing unless you take revenge from opponent...Negative feeling leads to negativitiy..which is not good.

Are you afraid of negative feelings?